In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d open up about two of my first loves.
The year was 1993 and I just started kindergarten. Our family was having a party and most of the adults were outside around the grill. The teenagers were inside watching the young ones – and by watching the young ones I mean watching my parents’ VHS copy of Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Excited to sit and watch a movie with the cool older kids, I settled down in front of the TV and saw this:
Luckily we went over subtraction that week in class. 1997 Skittles – 1993 Skittles = 4 Skittles. The robot war is only 4 Skittles away? I started sobbing.
Those responsible for watching me frantically tried to explain that it was just a movie and not a prophecy. Halfway through a lecture on how fiction works, I saw him: the young John Conner. He was savior of the human race in the war against the machines and he stole my heart.
I stopped crying because I knew everything was going to be just fine. I only started to well up again when (SPOILER ALERT) Arnold lowered himself into a giant pit of molten magma giving my John the thumbs up. It was just so sad. He would have made a great best man. Maybe a godfather to our children.
My grandparents came to visit our family a few days later. I ran up to my Grandpa Ross with the VHS sleeve in hand. I pointed to a picture of my John. ‘Grandpa, that’s the guy I am going to marry,” I said proudly. My grandpa looked at the picture of John on a motorcycle and said, “I suppose he is a nice looking young fella.”
Well, Edward Furlong (who played John Conner in the movie) went on to be in a lot of other movies that I was too young to watch and he also started to fall into substance abuse – so my parents were quite encouraging when my affections were placed on another young hero.
He saved Pride Rock, he improved homes, was the man of the house and was one hell of a Tom Sawyer – but to me, he was just JTT.
Every night at 7 I was allowed to watch ‘Home Improvement.’ By 7:40 my teeth were brushed and I was in bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep until at least 8. How could I be expected to fall asleep when I just spent the last half an hour with the man of my dreams (this is foreshadowing, y’all)?
My babysitter knew how obsessed I was with him and for Christmas gave me the best. present. ever. – a Jonathan Taylor Thomas calendar. 12 beautiful pictures of JTT in various poses and activities such as playing basketball. I jumped up and down and ran to my room to hang the calendar right next to my bed.
I would often sing to JTT throughout the year. My go-to song was ‘I Love You Always Forever’ by Donna Lewis. The first time I heard the song I knew it was perfect for my guy and me.
You’ve got the most unbelievable blue eyes I’ve ever seen.
Things were going great for a while, but it all ended one night. I woke up in the morning crying. I dreamt that he was walking along the beach picking seashells with me. A beautiful girl just a couple years older than I was approached us on the beach. JTT looked at me, handed over his seashells and said, ‘Sorry.’ Just like that, he was gone. There is a poem that says when you only see one pair of footprints in the sand it’s because Jesus is carrying you, but I’m pretty sure in this case it’s because JTT dumped me.
Life goes on and I’ve had plenty of delusional obsessions since then. I can’t help but think however, that one day when I’m in a wheelchair watching my great-grandchildren play in my front yard, I’ll be listening to 90’s hits on the oldies station and think back to happier times with my first loves.